Hornchurch Horror Show

Carshalton's visit to Hornchurch's never-welcoming Bridge Avenue "Stadium" was the story of a second half capitulation that was always on the cards given the number of young and /or  physically small players currently in the Robins line-up. It really was men against boys once the alledgedly "mighty" Urchins had got their noses in front rather against the run of play on the stroke of half time.

The Robins Zyklusgruppen were only three strong as we set off with our bikes on the train from Sutton. The trip is one of the season's least interesting with not much to detain us in Upminster, certainly no decent cafes, so we went straight to the ground where the entertainment was provided by the Tannoy Man Max, Essex's answer to Fred Elliot.

"Good Friday. At 'ome to Kingstonian......Kingstonian........Kingstonian on Good Friday. Don't come Saturdee. There's no game. It's on Friday ...............................  to Kingstonian ..... Kingstonian."


"Today's poser. Who made most premiership appearances but has no caps? He's got no caps..... no caps. He's got no caps.  Who is it? He's got no caps." (I can't tell you the answer, we were laughing too hard.)

I shouldn't really mock but when your team has been humilated 4-0 it's hard to be charitable.

My advice? Go to Hornchurch, look at the windmill, listen to Max but don't stop for the football.

Saturday 9 April 2011

Ryman Premier League

AFC Hornchurch (1) 4                                       Carshalton Athletic (0) 0

(Hunt 45, Tuohy 63 and 79, Curley 77)

Attendance: 204

By Peter Randall

After a reasonable first half performance, the Robins would have considered themselves to be unfortunate to go in at the interval a goal in arrears.  Carshalton had matched their Essex opponents for most of the first 45 minutes and it was only Jonathan Hunt’s free kick on the stroke of half time that separated two indifferent sides that looked destined to finish in mid-table.  But Carshalton were unable to hold off an Urchins team that raised their game in the second period and, long before the end, the Robins looked increasingly like a side devoid of shape and ideas as they slumped alarmingly to their heaviest defeat of the season.

Much of the first half was played out in mid-field as both teams worked hard to master the difficult conditions typical at this end of the season.  A long range effort by Dave Collis flew over the Carshalton goal and Craig Ross made a good save from an effort by Hunt that he saw late and pushed wide of the post.  Carshalton responded with a shot from Joel Ledgister that went close, the chance being created by a clever decoy run by Michael Boateng down the right.  Adeyanki and Reece were working hard to disrupt the Urchins defenders and a clumsy foul by Rickie Hayles presented Luke Pigden with the chance to send in a free kick that was touched away by Darren Behcet.  A splendid run down the left was halted at the expense of a corner and Ledgister too tried his luck with a set-piece that tested Behcet.  But of course it's goals and not pressure that ultimately counts and in the final minute of the half Hunt put his side ahead with a well placed free kick that curled round the defensive wall and brushed the far post on its way past Ross.

Hornchurch were first into a substitution early in the second half, Lewis Smith coming on to replace new signing Brian Haule.  Smith made an immediate impact shooting just over from what was almost his first touch.  Carshalton too made a change with Sean O’Toole coming on for Reece, but this had no impact with Carshalton players seemingly bemused by the rearranged line-up.  The pressure was on and not long after Martin Tuohy had headed wide, the Urchins striker gave a lesson in how to finish, latching on to Smith’s through ball to steer his shot round Ross to double the lead on 63 minutes.  Ledgister was surprisingly taken off with 20 minutes remaining and any hope of pulling back the lead seemed to disappear with the home defenders having no difficulty in brushing aside the efforts of the increasingly forlorn Carshalton attackers.  On 79 minutes Hornchurch scored again when a Carshalton corner was cleared to Smith who broke quickly forward.  Tuohy’s initial shot from Smith’s pass was blocked, but only as far as Frank Curley who had the easy task of turning the ball into the empty net.  Two minutes later, Tuohy completed the rout with another simple finish.  For the Robins and their demoralised supporters, it looks as though the end of the season can’t come quick enough.  Whether they will be able to do what they last did on 8th March and record another win is looking increasingly unlikely.

Robins team: Craig Ross, Michael Boateng, Justyn Roberts, Robbie Kember, Dan Young, David Ray, Joel Ledgister (Darren Bryan), Luke Pigden, Tashan Francis-Adeyanki, Matt Reece (Sean O’Toole), Anthony Joseph

Subs not used. Nial Aketa, Dwayne Williams, Tommy Williams